Please?

I just want to play with him for a little while....please??

Not yet...

As I mentioned previously, I have a notebook where I jot down my ideas for blogs (the 'actual' blogs, I'm not neurotic enough to plan all my random video posts...). I decided tonight that it's high time I wrote another one (was that a cheer or a groan I just heard??), so I searched for my little pink Blog Book, and flicked through the post ideas in it.

There's one particular idea that I always stop at. It's one about a difficult time in my life, and, as yet, I'm a little nervous and more than a little wary of writing it (which makes no sense because pour enough vodka down my throat and I'll sob my sorry saga to the dog on the street and anyone else who passes by...)..Maybe I'm just not ready to see the words in front of me. It ended badly the last time I tried to write about it, and I'm not emotionally secure enough to deal with that again.

SO, I very quickly moved on, and spotted a much lighter topic, and an excuse for a rant, all in one! And as you know, (or should by now..) I love a good rant!

So here we go, the 'Pet Peeves' post!

First and foremost - Text speak. Is this not one of the most annoying things ever?? It infuriates me! I'm pedantic when it comes to spelling most of the time anyway, so I just cannot fathom why someone would deliberately mis-spell...it's not quicker, or easier...it's just damn laziness (I'm getting all worked up just thinking about it!!)
AND bad enough as text speak in an actual text is, using it in am email, or letter or any written communication is just stupid. Vowels are there for a reason, mmkay? Learn to use them, all you lazy, text speak using bitches...yeah!!

Another thing is smoke breaks. As a non-smoker (evil, smelly sticks of death!!) I find it utterly unfair that some people get to take several breaks a day to have a cigarette, while I'm not entitled to any of those, just because I don't smoke. (obviously I'm not going to take a smoke break, but I feel it would only be fair if non-smokers were given breaks to each smoke break a smoker takes...) Seriously...if you must insist on smoking yourself into an early grave, don't do it on MY time!

Third, and almost last (sigh of relief anyone??) - rude customers. Obviously, they're part and parcel of my job as a checkout queen. But I still hate them and want to slap them in the face with a wet fish (while wearing gloves obviously...fish in general are vile...wet fish are a whole other level of grossosity...oops...tangent, sorry!) Just say 'please' and 'thank you'. If you drop something, or spill something, apologize at the very least. Don't stand having a conversation on your phone while I'm trying to communicate with you. All I'm asking is that people treat me (and other checkout kings and queens) with the common courtesy they would anyone else. Cos if they don't I'll just double scan and overcharge them...hehehe! **

Last, but not least on my list...spitting. Never has there been such a vile habit. Nobody wants to walk in your saliva, you dirty rotten fuck! Just swallow it! Spitting spreads diseases! In fact...I hope all spitters get diseases and die. So there!
(Also...just in case anyone should decide to be clever and make some sort of crude comment about spitting and swallowing...just dont. Thank you!)

So! Those are (some of) my pet peeves! What are yours??

(**DISCLAIMER: I would NEVER do that. I'm a good girl!)

Can't stop singing...

Ok, so it's another video and not techinally a blog post but I'm LOVING this right now...

I don't even know what this ad is for...

...but who cares?! Towel, please...

Listen...

You know it's Christmas when...

Santa Claus sends you a friend request on Bebo....



(in case you were wondering...I declined...Bah! Humbug!)

A Christmas Story

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.


[the picture has no relevance, but I thought a little bit of gratuitous cuteness was ok!]