Dreams of the dark..

I keep dreaming that there are things, possessions, that I've left in the old place. Now, I know there are some things there that I've forgotten, but none of which can't be replaced. (I can't go back to it, so retrieving them isn't an option..). I don't miss them. I figure that if it wasn't important enough to remember in the first place, then it wasn't important enough to miss now.

But I keep having this dream that I'm back there, gone to get something that I left. And while I'm there, I find more and more things that I didn't know I hadn't brought with me. Silly as it is, when I wake up, I find that for just a few seconds, I want to be back in the old place, with nothing forgotten or missed.

What's that about? I was (and AM) so happy to be rid of that old place, that old neighbourhood and most importantly, the old memories. Why am I suddenly missing it now? Are the dreams purely random, coincidental and meaningless? Or, subconciously, am I telling myself that maybe I'm not as happy to be rid of it as I thought I was? I sincerely hope it's the former because the thought of having to go back to some of the memories left in the old place makes me want to weep.

I'm the type of person who believes that the past belongs in the past. Sure, revisit it every so often, that's fair enough, it's healthy to do that. I like to keep mine locked away in a little mental box, rarely opened, only occasionally sifted through. So, why now, when I so want to look forward, are my dreams forcing me to look back?

I don't like it..not one little bit.

You'll find me

I'm going to get lost in this for the next few days, and live up to my gross emo kid status..

Back to basics..

I remember a time when nothing escaped this blog. Anything that happened was material, I had so many different posts running around half finished in my head (and notebook) and even though my writing leaves a lot to be desired, I was still always pleased and at times even slightly excited to hit the 'publish post' button, and have it all seen.

I don't remember when that changed. I haven't written here properly in the longest time, and weeks can go by without me even thinking 'oh yeah, should really write something, anything, just to fill it out a bit..'

And it's not as though nothing's been happening. A lot has changed. A new life (almost) has started for me. Exciting changes. Things that I want to share, and yet for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to sit down and start writing about them.

I've always written about things in my life, ever since I COULD write. I moved house not so long ago (from the worst, most horrible place ever to the best!) and found a little notebook of mine. Looking inside it, I found little notes I've written to myself. The first was written aged 7 (or so) and the last was 18 or 19..so to not write is strange for me.

I've noticed that it's not just me though. The keenest of bloggers seem to be having a tough time keeping it up, or maybe they've just lost interest in it? Have we said all we have to say?

I don't think so, and I've made the decision to try harder, to keep this thing going, for myself as much as anyone else, so I can look back in a few weeks, months, maybe even years and say 'oh yeah, that's where I was then, look how much has / hasn't changed..'

So where am I now? As my mindframes go, I'm in quite a good one at the moment. Like I said above, I've moved house and that's one of the best things that could have happened. I'm still living with my mother (I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, which I don't) in a fabulous new apartment. All the old, painful memories have been left in the old place, and this is ours now to make new ones in. I'll never forget the first time I sat in our living room, trying to take it all in. I reject change in general, and was finding it hard to deal with, until my mother said 'I can see us being happy here, Daisy.' and then I realised that I was home. (sappy as that is!)

Relationships are changing. I haven't seen some of the people that I love most in the longest time (a lot of which is down to me, and I must try to do something about that). New ones are beginning, which I'm going to say very little about for fear of jinxing anything (yes, I can be superstitious when I want to be..) but we know what I'm talking about, right? :)

Things with the paternal aren't great, I've developed more of an intolerence for bullshit lately, and I can't deal with his negativity putting a downer on my happiness. Harsh, maybe..selfish, definitely but that's just how it is at the moment.

What else? Well, work is the same as ever..too much work for too few people. But am I really going to complain about work, when I'm one of the lucky ones? I don't think so..

So, I think that's it for me. For the moment anyway.

Once...twice...three times..

So I've been tagged by the sexy Jelly Monster to do this '3 Things' Meme...so here goes!

Three Names You Go By

1. Claire
2.Daisy
3.Dizzle

Three Screen Names You Had

1. *Star-Girl*
2.Claire-Bear
3. Can't remember a third!

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself

1. Hair
2. Eyes
3. Tattoos / Piercings

Three Physical Things you dont like about yourself

1. Arms
2. Flat ass
3. Everything else

Three Parts of your heritage

1.Bitta culchie
2.Bitta dub
3.Bit more culchie

Three things that scare you

1.BIRDS
2.Leprechauns
3.Deep water

Three of your everyday essentials

1. Phone
2. Eyeliner
3. Eh...air??

Three things you are wearing right now

1. T-shirt saying 'miss know it all'
2.Jeans
3. Pink bra

Three of your favourite bands or musical artists

1. Paramore
2. Evanescence
3. My Chemical Romance

Three of your favourite songs right now

1. Pixie Lott - Boys and Girls
2. Paramore - I caught myself
3. Black Eyed Peas - I gotta feeling *cringe*

Three things you want in a relationship

1. Love
2. Laughter
3. Trust

Three of your favourite hobbies

1. Reading
2. Going to comedy shows
3. Anything to do with music

Three things you want to do really badly right now

1. Shower!
2. Check my farm
3. Tidy my room

Three careers you're considering / have considered

1. Childcare (don't laugh!)
2. Air-hostess
3. Eh...come back to me

Three places you want to go on vacation

1. FORKS!
2. Egypt
3. South America

Three Names you like

1.Ava
2.Edward
3.Blaize

Three things you want to do before you die

1.Robert Pattinson
2.Fall in love
3.Visit the places up there

Three Ways that you are a stereotypical girl

1. Eh..well..the obvious..ahem
2. Ditzy
3. Love pink

Three fantasy dinner guests

1.Robert Pattinson (he IS the main course and dessert though..)
2.Audrey Hepburn
3. Cartman (just for the hilarity)

Three must haves

1.Phone
2.Books
3.Photos

Sorry, sorry..

I'm failing at blogging right now. I know this...I'll try to rectify this soon, but just no in a good mindframe right now. Apologies!

Belly Laughs #1 - International Comedy Club

When?: Friday 17th July 2009
Where? International Comedy Club
Who?:

Tiffany Stapleton started the night. She was an unknown name to me, so I really had no idea what to expect. Her act was a little bit messy, and not entirely pulled together, but funny nonetheless. Unlike many other female comedians, Stapleton was able to connect with the whole audience (as opposed to only the other females in the room)and her comedy was intelligent and well recieved. I don't know if I'd hurry back to see her headline, but I enjoyed her act.

Dave McSavage was the next act. I've seen him before, so obviously, there was repeated material, but I find the man extremely funny. Yes, he's sarcastic, he's rude, offensive, and comes out with some things that I don't agree with. He's undeniably un-PC, but, in my opinion, there's no room for PC in comedy. His song about 'culchies' getting on the property ladder had me in hysterics, and I wasn't the only one. Despite public opinions on this man, he still got the biggest laughs of the night.

Next up was F.J. Murray. The crowd loved him, but I have to be honest, I didn't find him that funny. His jokes were amusing, but nothing I haven't heard done before. He only did a very short slot, about 10 to 15 minutes, it's possible that he would have appealed to me a bit more had he had time to get further into his act.

The final act was Brendan Riley. This guy has a great energy, he bounced around the stage, and really connected with the audience. As he said himself, we'd paid the money, he'd better make us laugh. And laugh we did. Again, like Tiffany, I wouldn't run out to see him in a headline show, but the rest of the audience seemed to love him.

And of course, I can't post this and not mention the fantastic Dean Scurry. He hosted the gig, and even the jokes of his that I've heard before had me laughing. He has an almost boyish charm, that endears the audience to him immediately. Constantly bouncing around the stage, he is brilliant at getting the crowd going, and getting them ready for the next act. Possibly one of my favourite comedians!

Cos this is THRILLER!!

You so know this was the guy on the right's idea...look at those moves!