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Monday, 27 October 2008

Irrational Fears...

We all have them. The slightly less than normal things that make our hearts race, have us reaching for the cushion to hide our eyes, or the duvet to hide under. Others don't understand them, and we can't explain them, but nevertheless, they're real, and they're terrifying!

So, I thought we could share our irrational fears..we might even get a laugh out of some of them!!

My top 5, are, in no particular order (they all terrify me equally..)as follows:

Pigeons
Ok..well, I'm afraid of ALL birds, but pigeons are the worst. They are EVERYWHERE, and..the pigeons where I live have a serious attitude problem. They have no fear...(I've actually had this conversation, in depth, with a work colleague...)They don't fly away when I shoo them (from a safe distance of course...), instead, they look at you with their beady little eyes, as if to say "Oh yeah??? You and what army, bitch?!" and keep strutting on their merry way, bopping their heads like they don't have a care in the world! 

BE WARNED!! Pigeons are all evil and want to eat your livers!! I hope they all get gammy legs and die. Yeah...

Leprechauns
Small green men with wild, orange hair and pervy 'Oirish' accents who sit on a pot of gold all day, cackling all sinister like to themselves...usually while innebriated! Need I say more!?

Painted People
You know like the ones on Grafton Street, painted all silver (or gold, if you're lucky...) Yeah...what is the deal with them!? What sort of sick, twisted fecker gets a buzz out of scaring innocent children for money?! They should all be lined up and shot (while people stand jingling the spare change in their pockets..)Yeah...

Beards
I don't trust them. Just what are beardy people hiding (except maybe food...) under there??? Hmmm...the mind boggles...(well...mine does anyway...)

Billy Connolly
I think this is possibly my oddest irrational fear...but the man petrifies me! It stems from a childhood thing...I don't know if anyone remembers, but he was once in an ad for some alcohol or other...(I'll YouTube it and post the link...if I'm brave enough..)..and he had a puppet of himself...and it was just horrible! Scared the bejaysus outta me! To this day, I cannot watch him on the television...my skin crawls, I get goosebumps..not good! 
And he has a beard...Nuff said!!!

So...I've told you mine...what are yours?? 

[EDIT: I can't find the video with the puppet, but I've found this one...I'm having minor palpitations now having watched it. It's terrifying!!!]



2 comments:

Maxi Cane said...

I don't have any food under my beard. That's a good idea though.

whoopsadaisy said...

Em none of the above...I'm not sure I hav any irrational fears actually? How sensible am I? lol