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Sunday, 17 May 2009

The greatest man I never knew...

I always wanted to be one of those girls who had the best daddy. The kind of daddy who took you out at weekends for special days out. Who was overprotective, because he cared. Who you could turn to when things got rough, and the kind who could make it all better with a hug. You know the type...I don't know if they exist in the real world, or if they're just something that someone dreamt up, but I wanted that.

We don't always get what we want though, do we?

So, what's prompting this blog? Well...I had dinner with him this evening. Not a big deal, you might think, apart from the fact that it was the first contact we've had since just before Christmas..

We met, we sat, we ate, and we chatted, but it was different somehow. I couldn't feel any father / daughter connection. It was like two distant friends meeting after a long time, catching up, each telling stories, neither really listening to the others. It wasn't unpleasant, but it's not something I couldn't live without. Perhaps the most shocking (and least shocking in a weird way) was the realisation that even after all of that time, I didn't really miss his presence all that much..

What does that say about me as a daughter??

9 comments:

Maxi Cane said...

It says even though you'd like things to be different, you know it may never be, and that's ok.

Lottie said...

It's different when you're a child - when you're a child you see everyone as you want them to be, as you grow, you see people as they are.

Please see email...

Daily Daydreamer said...

@Maxi - Thank you. Feels wrong to feel that way though..

@Lottie - Just seen and replied. Feel very much like you do - seeing someone for what they are, and not what they should be is not an easy part of life, at all.

PaddyInEngland said...

I hope he at least paid for dinner!

Daily Daydreamer said...

@Paddy - Of course!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Well, I'll tell you they do exist, my wife's dad is one. Amazes me everytime.

He can make things right for her with an arm around the shoulder that I couldn't no matter what I say or do.

But anyway, I'm more like you in that I don't seem to have the family connection or presence that I wish I did. But it IS ok. And you know what, it'll mean you'll work harder when its your turn to be that someone.

my two useless cents there for you.

Daily Daydreamer said...

@XBox - useless two cents? Not in the slightest, when it comes to a topic like this, every comment means something. So thank you.

B said...

(I had a mountain of personal info here that I've suddenly became conscious of posting, a lot of it is making me cry now)

Not sure how that can cheer you up... let's you know that there's people far worse than you, I suppose.(this closer was in the original bit)

Daily Daydreamer said...

@B - I was like that for a while, but I just needed to get this down, and this seemed like the right place. There's lots of personal stuff that I'm not ready to write though.

Thanks for the message :)