Friday, 25 September 2009

Back to basics..

I remember a time when nothing escaped this blog. Anything that happened was material, I had so many different posts running around half finished in my head (and notebook) and even though my writing leaves a lot to be desired, I was still always pleased and at times even slightly excited to hit the 'publish post' button, and have it all seen.

I don't remember when that changed. I haven't written here properly in the longest time, and weeks can go by without me even thinking 'oh yeah, should really write something, anything, just to fill it out a bit..'

And it's not as though nothing's been happening. A lot has changed. A new life (almost) has started for me. Exciting changes. Things that I want to share, and yet for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to sit down and start writing about them.

I've always written about things in my life, ever since I COULD write. I moved house not so long ago (from the worst, most horrible place ever to the best!) and found a little notebook of mine. Looking inside it, I found little notes I've written to myself. The first was written aged 7 (or so) and the last was 18 or to not write is strange for me.

I've noticed that it's not just me though. The keenest of bloggers seem to be having a tough time keeping it up, or maybe they've just lost interest in it? Have we said all we have to say?

I don't think so, and I've made the decision to try harder, to keep this thing going, for myself as much as anyone else, so I can look back in a few weeks, months, maybe even years and say 'oh yeah, that's where I was then, look how much has / hasn't changed..'

So where am I now? As my mindframes go, I'm in quite a good one at the moment. Like I said above, I've moved house and that's one of the best things that could have happened. I'm still living with my mother (I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, which I don't) in a fabulous new apartment. All the old, painful memories have been left in the old place, and this is ours now to make new ones in. I'll never forget the first time I sat in our living room, trying to take it all in. I reject change in general, and was finding it hard to deal with, until my mother said 'I can see us being happy here, Daisy.' and then I realised that I was home. (sappy as that is!)

Relationships are changing. I haven't seen some of the people that I love most in the longest time (a lot of which is down to me, and I must try to do something about that). New ones are beginning, which I'm going to say very little about for fear of jinxing anything (yes, I can be superstitious when I want to be..) but we know what I'm talking about, right? :)
Things with the paternal aren't great, I've developed more of an intolerence for bullshit lately, and I can't deal with his negativity putting a downer on my happiness. Harsh, maybe..selfish, definitely but that's just how it is at the moment.
What else? Well, work is the same as ever..too much work for too few people. But am I really going to complain about work, when I'm one of the lucky ones? I don't think so..
So, I think that's it for me. For the moment anyway.


The Jelly Monster said...

Loves it, welcome back babe...I missed ur blogs.

So happy for ya to

sneezymonica said...

Welcome back Diz :) nice to see you writing again and great that things are on the up :-)

I'm sure this isn't the case with you, but I always find that I get the urge to write far more often when things *aren't* going well - it's cathartic... or something.

Makes for cheerful reading, too!! :P

Maxi Cane said...

I am Maxi Cane and I would like to leave a comment. I would also like you to note that I have not been asked to or bullied into doing so.