Wednesday, 25 August 2010

Wasting time

Have you ever known you're pursuing something that just will not work, or isn't worth it? And, even though you know all that, do you do it anyway, because it's easier than not?

There's a little bit of comfort everytime the phone beeps. No thrill, no heartbeat that catches in your chest. But that comfort is enough to make you pick it up, make you smile a little bit, and with that smile you can fool yourself for a moment, almost make yourself believe that it means a little bit more than it really does.

Maybe it's just me. Or maybe we've all done it at one point or another. Because anyone is better than no-one, after all, right? Someone paying us attention is better than believing that nobody could be bothered.

I don't know what I'm doing. I know how I feel, and I know how I want to feel, and I know that the two aren't the same. I know that it's unfair, but whether it's to myself or someone else, I'm not entirely sure.

And if it's a case of two people getting comfort from each other 'in the meantime' - is it such a bad thing?