Playing dress up

Sometimes, I hate being a grown up. As grown ups go, I'm still relatively childish, but sometimes I just wish I was an actual child again, with no responsibilites, no job. When your best friend is for life, boys are icky, and school is the biggest worry in your life.

Being a grown up, of course, has it's advantages. But sometimes I miss having the decisions made for me, having someone there to take care of me. Like, proper care. Making sure I'm fed everyday, putting me to bed at a decent hour and tucking me in. The things I resented most back then are the things I miss the most now.

And, the more I think about it, the more I realise that really, I am still a child, a child that's playing dress up, dressing up as a grown up. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going through life blindly, hoping I make the right decisions, build the right relationships, make the right choices. I think I'm doing ok so far, but I'm terrified that I'll mess it up. Those worries didn't exist when I was a child. Being a child was blissfully ignorant.

They say youth is wasted on the young. And I'm coming to understand that.