Finished Picture : Bambi and Fleur :)

Unframed, one for storing..

It's only history..

I love playing tourist. It's something I don't do often enough. Sadly, in the grand scheme of life, it's just not that important.

But today, I got to play tourist. My playground? Kilmainham Gaol.

I've been there before, of course, but as a child, and I really didn't understand what I was hearing, or seeing. Growing up, I was always told about Irish history, from 1916 on mostly, and so, had an interest in it. It was one of the only sections of history in school that held my attention. (I'm a firm believer of what's in the past should stay there, usually)

It was different today. Today, I fully understood what I was seeing, and where I was. Reading letters from long dead men to their wives, walking along the freezing, eerie corridors and peeking through the doors of the bare cells, I really got a sense of life back then. It was all too easy to visualise the awful conditions the prisoners were forced to deal with, sometimes for the pettiest of crimes.

Hearing names, and being told of events past, sitting in a warm classroom is one thing, but actually, physically seeing the names, seeing the cells, it's a completely different experience.

As I progressed around the Gaol, I watched the non-Irish visitors, seeing our history through new eyes, hearing about everything for the first time, and wondered what they thought. It's by no means a pleasant history, it's bloody, and violent. Nothing I heard was new to me, and what was interesting to me and captured me the first time I heard it, are the same things that captured me today. I have the same opinions on it, though perhaps a better understanding.

There are some definite tugs on the heartstrings as you walk around. The last words of men sentenced to death for fighting for what they believed in. A yard, an excercise yard, for children, some as young as 8, sentenced to months in prison for stealing a shawl to keep them warm. Cold, bare cells, where men, women, and children were forced to live for the smallest of crimes.

And of course, for anyone who's visited, I think they'll agree, the most memorable part of the tour is in the yard, where the executions happened. Two small crosses to mark where men lost their lives. It's colder here than in any other part of the prison, and the romantic part of me liked to believe it was the ghosts of the soldiers, still with us (you can blame the late hour for that one..)

It's OUR history. It can't be changed, and it can't be taken away from us. We take it for granted. But, when we have such places, on our doorsteps, to visit, and remember, it's such a shame not to.

Finished Picture : Faerie :)

Have done loads of pictures to date, have decided to stick pics up here when I'm done with them!

This is a faerie I made for my mum (cross-stitched)

Life is..

Simple pleasures

It's the simple things that I love the most. A warm bed, especially on a cold night, after a long day. A gossipy, giggly phone call that lasts hours. A hug from my mummy when I'm feeling sad. A picnic on the beach with my fantastic boyfriend.

I think we forget to take pleasure in the smaller things in life. Sure, the big gestures, the events, they're great, and they're lovely, but it's the smaller, everyday things that should make us smile. They're what we'd miss most if they were gone.

So, take pleasure in the simple things. Enjoy an embrace from a friend, a smile from a stranger, all those kinds of things. They're what make life bearable.

Happy Love Day

Here's hoping that anyone who celebrated Valentine's Day had a fantastic day, filled with love, laughter and smiles. I know I did.

Song of the week - Northern Downpour

If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me

And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely

The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at boat feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me

Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
[x3]

Sugarcane (hey moon) in
(Hey moon) the easy mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my
(Hey moon) one and lonely

Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely

[Continues in background:]
Sugarcane (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn

Good morning, sunshine..

'Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.'

Word of the week? Positivity. Too much of our time is spent having negative thoughts. I'm a culprit of this. I am possibly the most negative person I know.

It is so much easier to be negative. Positivity takes up so much more energy, because it's harder to do. A frown will always come before a smile. A shake before a nod. A sigh before a laugh.

But this negativity has such an impact, on me, and the people around me. I've seen this, and it's not fun to watch. Pessimistic by nature, I will always see the dark side of everything, and be swallowed by it, if I let myself.

But if I expect the worst, that's all I'll get, right? If I expect disappointment, then how can I ever be anything but disappointed? Negativity breeds negativity.

So, from now on, it's yes, instead of no. It's light instead of dark. Hopefully.

outlook

'For everything you have missed, you have gained something else ; and for everything you gain, you lose something else. It is about your outlook towards life.

You can either regret or rejoice.'

(via debsylee's posterous )

Ch-ch-ch-changes

As we get older, and our lives move forward, naturally, inevitably, we encounter changes. Some big, some small, some that alter us completely, and some that don't have any impact at all.

I've been through some changes in the last 6 months or so, and while some are great (new place to live, new relationship starting to form with the paternal, a new romance..), some are not so..(loss of friends, distancing of some relationships, etc etc).

Like I said before, these changes are probably just part of life's natural progression. After all, if nothing changed, then everything would stay the same and we'd never move forward, right?

But recently, I've started to notice a change in myself, and I really don't like it. I'm a much more negative person than I was maybe a year ago. I don't find the fun in things as easily, I find myself getting irked regularly, over the tiniest of things. I don't like it, and, as hard as I try to fight it, I can't seem to get a hold on it. I've voiced these concerns, and been told that I haven't changed as much as I think I have, but there's a little voice in my head saying 'yes you have!! mwahaha you havvveee!'

There's much more I could say about this, and lots more that I want to say, but I feel this isnt an appropriate place...so this'll do. A weak attempt at my first personal blog post since christmas, but hey, ya gotta start somewhere!

101 Things

So, from 3 things, to 101 things. Bit of a jump, but here goes. I can't promise this'll be interesting, but it'll be informative..

1. I am an only child.

2. I had 3 step-sisters for about a year, but not anymore.

3. I have 4 tattoos (or 6, depending on how you look at it..) with plans for more.

4. I don't like my job, but refuse to leave.

5. I'm quite a solitary person at times, and just need to be left alone.

6. I, apparently, have strangely flexible legs, and the way I sit freaks a lot of people out.

7. One of my 'party tricks' is bending the tips of all of my fingers, at the same time, without touching them.

8. I can cook about 4 dishes, and refuse to learn anymore, as I hate cooking.

9. I have had blue hair, pink hair, red hair, black hair, auburn hair, and brown hair.

10. I started learning to read at age 2, and am still a bookworm to this day.

11. I read, on average, about 3 books a week.

12. I aspire to be an ice skater, despite being scarily clumsy, and having a hatred of ice (and no rhythm)

13. I hate my upper arms, so wear a cardi with everything

14. I love vampires more than a person should.

15. I cannot stand the sight of blood, it makes me feel faint and want to be sick.

16. The same goes for puke.

17. I sing, constantly.

18. I'm a complete twitter-aholic, I'm only short of sleep-tweeting.

19. I love my mummy more than anyone else in the world.

20. I have more girl crushes than boy crushes.

21. I'm a total Gleek

22. I'm the messiest person ever.

23. I speak in a culchie accent a lot of the time, without meaning to.

24. I have a thing for foreign languages. They make me go all weak at the knees.

25. I am terrified of children. I just don't know what to make of them.

26. I am also terrified of leprechauns.

27. I have no huge dreams of getting married, but I have my bridal party's outfits and my dress designed, in detail, in my head.

28. Similarly, I am terrified of children, but I have my baby names picked out.

29. I am extremely insecure.

30.My middle names are Sarah-Marie and for years, I wanted to change my name to that.

31. All three dogs that I have owned in my past were declared 'gorgeous' but 'cracked' by their vets.

32. I have to have access to the time, at ALL times. I don't always have to know it, but if I don't have a way of finding out, I freak out.

33.I have an intense dislike for Cavan and Louth.

34.The only plant I have never successfully killed is my cactus, Rosalie.

35.I name everything, including my tongue bar (it's called Oscar)

36.The worst thing (apart from like..murder) that I think someone can do to you is cheat on you. I have absolutely no forgiveness for this, at all.

37. I have a bad habit of not saying what I think, and dwelling on it.

38. I get pissed off very easily, and then forget about it quickly.

39. But I do hold grudges, and once I have a grudge with someone, it is nearly impossible for me to forget about it.

40.I hate, loathe, and detest feet. Even my own. Well, one of them, one is acceptable.

41. I dislike cigarettes, and smoking, but do resort to it when very stressed.

42. I have a scar on my forehead, that I got when I smacked my head off concrete years ago. I grew my fringe over it to cover it.

43. Among my biggest pet peeves are: Text speak, spitting, and self important people.

44.I cannot swim, and am terrified to learn. My biggest fear is drowning.

45. I also cannot ride a bike, use rollerskates, or drive. Wheels and I don't get on very well.

46. I danced in an Irish bollywood film once. I was not seen in the finished film, thank goodness!

47. I cannot give away, or throw away, books. It's wrong, and makes the baby Jesus cry.

48. I used to attend Irish dancing lessons but quit after a few weeks because the teacher 'hit' me (and I wasn't really very good at it) I only joined to get the shoes.

49. I am a strong believer in Karma, and HAVE seen it at work.

50. I also believe in mediums, and fortune tellers. Which can be a very bad thing, sometimes.

51. I'm very easily stressed.

52. I'm also easily scared, and am constantly scaring myself.

53. I always feel slightly conceited when I say I live in a penthouse :/

54. I get far too involved in other people's dramas.

55. I'm very loyal.

56. I'm finding it very difficult to find 101 things to say about myself, never mind 101 INTERESTING things.

57. I cannot stand birds, especially pigeons. Unfortunately, they always seem to find me, and attack.

58. I get easily obsessed with things.

59. I hate all vegetables, apart from sugar snap peas (my limit is 5) - they make me gag.

60. I love writing, and can spend hours making up stories.

61. I far prefer actual pen to paper letters than e-mails or texts.

62. I love getting post - even if it's junk mail.

63. Everyday, I get a little bit more like my mother, and I actually don't mind.

64. I have a very dirty sense of humour, and can find filth in almost anything.

65. I constantly find myself chatting to myself while walking. And arguing.

66. The first medal I got in school was for playing the recorder. A skill I failed to maintain once I left.

67. I can spend hours sewing pictures - my current one is a faerie for my mother.

68. My socks never match.

69. I just laughed at the number 69.

70. I get urges to go to the beach at the oddest of times, but never do.

71. I constantly read things on failbook or sites like that and think 'ha that's something I'd do!'

72. I get excited when I see secrets that I identify with on Postsecret.

73. I trust people until they give me a reason not to, instead of having them earn it.

74. One of my biggest flaws is putting walls up between myself and other people.

75. I hate my nose.

76. I have a strange habit of thinking I'm in Dublin, even when I'm not in Ireland. Example - I was in Paris once, but in my head, I was still in Dublin, (and yes, everyone was speaking french..)

77. I once had a murderous hamster, called Jemima. She murdered her hamster husband, Jerry, in a fit of passion one night, and ripped out his eye.

78. I asked my mother if Santa was real, and was devastated when she told me the truth. I was 11 at the time...

79. My parents told me that all of my dead pets (hamsters and goldfish) were buried at the Pope's Cross in the Pheonix Park. Only recently have I been able to come to terms with the fact that they lied.

80. When listening to music, I have a strange habit of pretending I'm the person singing, and picturing myself as them, on stage. This is not gender specific.

81. I have a tendancy to make up words, and not realise I've done it.

82. I have no knowledge of dublin geography, despite having lived here all my life.

83. I say the words 'actually' , 'basically', 'stress', 'rage', and 'sadface' way too much. Basically.

84. My favourite fairground ride is the Waltzers, I adore them.

85. I would love to have a pet lion or tiger.

86. I once, successfully, convinced my supervisor to let me have a 'chipstick break', because everyone else was getting smoke breaks.

87. Everytime a Guard walks into my workplace, I'm convinced they're there to arrest me. I'm not guilty of any crimes.

88. I almost turned myself nocturnal the summer I was 16.

89. I love bruises, and get stupidly excited when I get one.

90. I refuse to open presents in front of people.

91. I once had a birthday cake with 2 penises on it. They were subsequently eaten by two of the only males at the party.

92. I was once told I'd make a great lesbian, if I wasn't straight.

93. I swear too much.

94. I often get referred to as 'Diz', 'Dizzy', or 'Daisy'. Daisy is a childhood nickname from my mother, and also my favourite flower. Dizzy is just how I am ;)

95. One of my tattoos is a swirly anklet, ending with a daisy. The anklet was to represent some of my favourite books, the daisy was for my mother.

96. I'm very shy when I meet new people, which unfortunately can be seen as being stand-offish.

97. I'm very good at pretending to like people I don't.

98. I used to know all of Steps' dance routines. Shamed.

99. I'm getting very excited to be nearing the end of this list.

100. I've been known to be slightly overdramatic.

101. I have no intention of EVER doing a list like this again.

3 Things..

So, in an attempt to get me back to the blog, The Jelly Monster has tagged me in a 3 Things Meme. I hate Meme's, but I hate making her sad even more, so here goes. Sigh.


1. 3 things you love in your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Husband/Wife.
(do I tick where applicable? :P )

Ok..I don't do soppy, especially NOT on my blog, but (and these may not be the things I love most)..
I love how he never seems to lose his patience, or his temper with me, even though I'd try the patience of a saint at the best of times, and can be a right stroppy cow for no reason.
His dedication to things, and how, if he sets his mind to something, he'll get it done, regardless of how many distractions might be thrown in his way (ahem..none by me, of course)
And, just for cutes, his oh-so-adorable dimples! (he may kill me if he reads this..bwahaha)
They're the first things that came to mind, and, for the record, I don't agree with listing the ways you love someone.

3 things you love in a friend.

Ok, firstly, being able to be ridiculously silly, and have them join in, instead of looking at you like you're a few sammichs short of a picnic. If you can't be a loon with your friends, who can ya be a loon with, eh?
Complete honesty - if I look like shit, tell me. In the same respect, if I look awesome, tell me that too. If I'm acting like a monster, slap me back into place.
Being able to respect my space, and not need to constantly be there. I'm a solitary person at times, and like to shut out the world. Can't be dealing with someone who's all up in your face 24/7.

3 things you love in a book.
Only three??? Ok..

A good ending. I know it's cliched, but I hate reading a book, and feeling like you've been ripped off. Tie up the loose ends, and give me a happy ending, dammit. Unless it's a series of books, then, they have to end on a cliff-hanger. Otherwise, what's the point.

The new worlds they create. I love picking up a book and feeling physically unable to put it down until I've read every last word. And that feeling of coming back to earth when you've finished.
And strangely...the dependability of a book. The story is never going to change, no matter how long you have it, or how often or little you read it.

3 things you love in a movie

Humour...but proper, intelligent humour, none of this 'man gets hit by shovel, man falls down, oh how funny' lark. No, some sarcasm, one liners, and clever jokes, please.
Happy endings...nothing feels better than a happy ending in a film, it's just so satisfying.
And of course, just to be shallow, a totally hot leading man / lady (I'm not fussy when it comes to my eye candy ;P)

3 things you love in a blog.

Humour - again, if a blog can make me laugh, or even crack a smile, I'll be more likely to return. I don't wanna read a blog that bores me.
Also, I wanna get an idea of the writer when I read a blog. Put some of your own personality into it! If I think I'll like you, just from reading your blog, that's a good thing!
Readability. Long passages in blogs are gonna put me right off. Keep it snappy, if I'm reading it, I probably don't have much time to read essays, I wanna know what you're saying, and quickly.
(that's just what I like, by no means am I saying that they're the only things that make a blog enjoyable)

3 things you love to talk about

Work - I love getting the chance to moan about my day!
Films and books - Especially books that have been made into films...
Myself and the people around me

3 things you love to do in your free time


Sleep (exciting, ooh)
Read or watch DVDs - either alone or with company
Sew (yes, I am an old woman, masquerading as a 21 year old)

3 things you love to eat/drink.

Coke (I have a serious problem, but I'm working to get it under control)
Chicken (they say you are what you eat. I hope not - I'm terrified of birds!)
Soup!

3 things you would love to happen in your life.

To find my dream, and make it come true.
To see everyone I love set up for life, truly happy, and loved. That would, in turn, make me happy.
To wake up one day and have turned into Hayley Williams (or at least LOOK like her!)


I'm not going to tag anyone, but it's actually not a bad meme, so sure, give it a try! It'll kill 15 minutes, if nothing else!