Ring out the bells

Why do you constantly let me down? You would think I'd be used to it by now. Well, I am, but it still gets to me, a tiny bit, each time it happens. I don't know, maybe I think you've let me down so much in the past that you really couldn't do it anymore.

Ha. How wrong was I?

I don't know why you felt the need to lie. Or, if not lie, just NOT tell me. I honestly don't care what you do with your life, you don't need to avoid telling me. I'm not going to react badly. I probably wont react much at all. Apathetic.

I do feel sorry for her though. She's probably a lovely girl. She doesn't know what she's letting herself in for. You've probably fooled her too. Does she even really know about me? ALL about me, I mean, not just my existence.

You're by no means on your own in this. You're not the first one to let me down. I've been emotionally bruised quite a lot lately. It's quite possibly why this doesn't get me down like it should. I've stopped expecting anything from anyone.

But ring your bells, walk your aisle, and throw your flowers. I won't be there to watch. Not that it matters, you haven't missed me so far, have you?

Quick Review: Twilight Saga's New Moon

It's fair to say, that after the monstrosity of an adaptation that was 'Twilight', I was fairly apprehensive about 'New Moon'. While I love 'Twilight' as a standalone film, it misses many of the elements that make the book so appealing. I could rant about the smaller details that were missed that would have truly enhanced the film for fans, but I won't. This review is not about 'Twilight'.

'New Moon' was, in a word, amazing. It had everything it was supposed to, and more. Chris Weitz really did everything that Catherine Hardwick failed to do. It was, simply, the book, on screen.

It's hard to know if it was because of better directing, or just a familiarity with the roles that they didn't have in 'Twilight', but the actors portrayed the characters much better, and it was far easier to see them as the characters we love from the book (in 'Twilight', while the names were the same, the emotions and traits just..weren't there.). They were more comfortable in the roles, and that came across on screen.

I was worried about how the wolf pack, and more specifically, the actual wolves would be created, but I needn't have been. They were exactly as I had pictured..perhaps more frightening. (I'd go on about CGI or whatever you call it...if I knew anything about that type of thing!) There isn't a huge amount of screen time for the wolves in 'New Moon', so I am really excited about 'Eclipse', which should feature them a lot more.

The film also gives us our first glimpse of the Volturi, the royal family and lawkeepers of the vampire world. Being so used to the Cullens, how friendly, and good they are, meeting the Volturi shows us really just how menacing and dangerous their world is. Michael Sheen as Aro was fantastic. He played the role perfectly...I cannot praise him enough.

There's very little I can say without ruining it (though really, as was pointed out to me, all you need to do is read the book to know what the film is like)...it truly was amazing, and I would recommend it to EVERYONE. Go see it. Do it. Do it NOW!

21 years (almost)

How fast it goes...

Skip about 8 years that I can find NO pictures from..

Not just me?

I'm a daughter through a text.

Playing dress up

Sometimes, I hate being a grown up. As grown ups go, I'm still relatively childish, but sometimes I just wish I was an actual child again, with no responsibilites, no job. When your best friend is for life, boys are icky, and school is the biggest worry in your life.

Being a grown up, of course, has it's advantages. But sometimes I miss having the decisions made for me, having someone there to take care of me. Like, proper care. Making sure I'm fed everyday, putting me to bed at a decent hour and tucking me in. The things I resented most back then are the things I miss the most now.

And, the more I think about it, the more I realise that really, I am still a child, a child that's playing dress up, dressing up as a grown up. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going through life blindly, hoping I make the right decisions, build the right relationships, make the right choices. I think I'm doing ok so far, but I'm terrified that I'll mess it up. Those worries didn't exist when I was a child. Being a child was blissfully ignorant.

They say youth is wasted on the young. And I'm coming to understand that.

Belly Laughs # 2 - C.R.C. Comedy Show

What? : C.R.C. Comedy Show

Where?: Olympia Theatre

When? : Thursday 15th October, 2009

M.Cd by Des Bishop, the C.R.C. Comedy Show got off to a great start, and the standard really didn't drop throughout the night. With such an exciting line-up, expectations were high, and we weren't disappointed. With 15 acts, featuring some of the biggest names in Irish Comedy, mixing with some of the lesser known, it was a great blend, and everyone left with their sides hurting.

The show featured the comedic brilliance of Des Bishop, Ian Coppinger, Marcus Bergman, Colin Murphy, Willie White, Maeve Higgins and Colm O' Regan. After a 20 minute interval (and some confusion), Dead Cat Bounce started us off again, followed by Neil Delamere, Dermot Whelan, Elenor Tiernan, Dublin Improv (with Ian C., Dermot Whelan, Joe Rooney, and Paul Tylak), Damian Clark, Eric Lalor and last, but most definitaly not least, David O' Doherty.

Was impressed by almost all the acts, especially Des Bishop, Ian Coppinger and Colin Murphy opening the show brilliantly. I was not so amused by Marcus Bergman, Willie White or Colm O' Regan during the first half. It's not that they weren't funny, the laughs all around me could dispute that, they just weren't my style. I was also surprisingly disappointed by Maeve Higgins, which will come as a shock to anyone who knows about me and my girl crush on her. She wasn't playing to a crowd of her fans, and she almost died on her feet (and knew it).

The second half of the show was far more entertaining, with only Eleanor Tiernan leaving me straight faced. I've heard loads of good things about her, but I don't get it..she wasn't funny.

I think the high point of the night, for me, was Dead Cat Bounce's performance. They have quickly become a firm favourite of mine since seeing them in Kilkenny this year (followed closely by the DOD of course!)

All in all, a fantastic night, and a show I will definitely be going to again, and would urge others to go to, next year!

The Last Laugh

Death. It's one of those topics that few people like to think about, or to discuss. It makes people uncomfortable. Most people don't like to be faced with their own mortality. Unfortunately, it's something we're surrounded by, day in, day out.

So, we do what we always do when faced with something that makes us uneasy, or uncomfortable. We make a joke about it, try to lighten to mood. Share the laughter. Anything is material if it's funny, right?

Hmmm.

When does the joke go too far though? When do people pause, and think, remember that the subject of that joke that they're texting / emailing / tweeting etc is a person? A real person, who has just died. Died. When do they stop, and spare a second to think about that person's family, their friends?

I would love to know why it's acceptable to send crude, vulgar and generally unfunny jokes about a person recently deceased. I know that generally, the people at the heart of these 'jokes' are people in the public eye (most recent examples, of course, being Michael Jackson, and our own Stephen Gately). Sure ordinary people just aren't as interesting, are they?
But, regardless, it's NOT ok. Life in the spotlight or not, death is something that should be respected. Mourned, not joked about.

I shared this opinion recently, and was told that it was 'laughter in the face of tragedy'. I just think laughing in the 'face of tragedy' and making crude jokes at the expense of someone who has just died are entirely different things.

Am I the only one who finds it disgusting, and disrespectful in the extreme? How would the people sending these jokes feel if it was THEIR loved one who had just died? Would it be ok then? I highly doubt it. I think a little compassion, and some empathy could go a long way.

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not some boring old prude who can't see the funny side of things, and my sense of humour can be as warped as the next person's. I just think that maybe, the next time you're about to hit that send button, send that 'hilariously original' joke about someone not even buried yet, you'll stop. Think. Remember that at the end of the day, a fellow human has just passed away. Maybe then, you'll change your mind?

Maybe.

A note to the Past

'We are just misguided ghosts, travelling endlessly. The ones we trusted the most, pushed us far away..'

I saw you, Past. Standing there, with your friends, completely oblivious to my presence. Why wouldn't you be? It's been years since we've seen each other, possibly years since you've even thought of me. You looked exactly the same as I remember, but completely different at the same time. I could see where a little bit of who I was then rubbed off on you. I like that, in some small, barely noticable way, you still have something from me with you.

I went home with tears in my eyes after seeing your face, Past. I hate myself for letting you have such an impact on me, still, after all this time and all the promises I've made to myself that I'm 'over it'. I'm not over it.

I think we could have been really good friends, Past. Not sisters anymore, no, but friends definitely. Remember how we made each other laugh, teased each other (ironically, about our music..you listen to my music now, watch the things I would have watched, read what I would have read..), and most importantly, how we braved the awful times together. Maybe there's just too much bad history there for you. Maybe seeing me would dredge it all back.

I hope you don't think like me, Past. I honestly hope what happened doesn't haunt you, doesn't have the power to make you cry in the dead of night. I hope that, just when you think you're doing fine, you've buried it, something doesn't come along and trip you up. I'm glad you didn't see my face. I'm glad you weren't the one who had to catch her tears amid strangers. Despite the time that's passed, I still feel far too much for you to want that.

I miss you, Past. But please, in future, could you stay there? I can't deal with facing you again.

I'm just a ghost

Days like this..

..are just full of win!

Daisies

'At evening when I go to bed
I see the stars shine overhead;
They are the little daisies white
That dot the meadows of the night

And often while I'm dreaming so,
Across the sky the moon will go!
It is a lady sweet and fair,
Who comes to gather daisies there;

For when at morning I arise,
There's not a star left in the skies;
She's picked them all and dropped them down
Into the meadows of the town'

Dreams of the dark..

I keep dreaming that there are things, possessions, that I've left in the old place. Now, I know there are some things there that I've forgotten, but none of which can't be replaced. (I can't go back to it, so retrieving them isn't an option..). I don't miss them. I figure that if it wasn't important enough to remember in the first place, then it wasn't important enough to miss now.

But I keep having this dream that I'm back there, gone to get something that I left. And while I'm there, I find more and more things that I didn't know I hadn't brought with me. Silly as it is, when I wake up, I find that for just a few seconds, I want to be back in the old place, with nothing forgotten or missed.

What's that about? I was (and AM) so happy to be rid of that old place, that old neighbourhood and most importantly, the old memories. Why am I suddenly missing it now? Are the dreams purely random, coincidental and meaningless? Or, subconciously, am I telling myself that maybe I'm not as happy to be rid of it as I thought I was? I sincerely hope it's the former because the thought of having to go back to some of the memories left in the old place makes me want to weep.

I'm the type of person who believes that the past belongs in the past. Sure, revisit it every so often, that's fair enough, it's healthy to do that. I like to keep mine locked away in a little mental box, rarely opened, only occasionally sifted through. So, why now, when I so want to look forward, are my dreams forcing me to look back?

I don't like it..not one little bit.

You'll find me

I'm going to get lost in this for the next few days, and live up to my gross emo kid status..

Back to basics..

I remember a time when nothing escaped this blog. Anything that happened was material, I had so many different posts running around half finished in my head (and notebook) and even though my writing leaves a lot to be desired, I was still always pleased and at times even slightly excited to hit the 'publish post' button, and have it all seen.

I don't remember when that changed. I haven't written here properly in the longest time, and weeks can go by without me even thinking 'oh yeah, should really write something, anything, just to fill it out a bit..'

And it's not as though nothing's been happening. A lot has changed. A new life (almost) has started for me. Exciting changes. Things that I want to share, and yet for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to sit down and start writing about them.

I've always written about things in my life, ever since I COULD write. I moved house not so long ago (from the worst, most horrible place ever to the best!) and found a little notebook of mine. Looking inside it, I found little notes I've written to myself. The first was written aged 7 (or so) and the last was 18 or 19..so to not write is strange for me.

I've noticed that it's not just me though. The keenest of bloggers seem to be having a tough time keeping it up, or maybe they've just lost interest in it? Have we said all we have to say?

I don't think so, and I've made the decision to try harder, to keep this thing going, for myself as much as anyone else, so I can look back in a few weeks, months, maybe even years and say 'oh yeah, that's where I was then, look how much has / hasn't changed..'

So where am I now? As my mindframes go, I'm in quite a good one at the moment. Like I said above, I've moved house and that's one of the best things that could have happened. I'm still living with my mother (I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, which I don't) in a fabulous new apartment. All the old, painful memories have been left in the old place, and this is ours now to make new ones in. I'll never forget the first time I sat in our living room, trying to take it all in. I reject change in general, and was finding it hard to deal with, until my mother said 'I can see us being happy here, Daisy.' and then I realised that I was home. (sappy as that is!)

Relationships are changing. I haven't seen some of the people that I love most in the longest time (a lot of which is down to me, and I must try to do something about that). New ones are beginning, which I'm going to say very little about for fear of jinxing anything (yes, I can be superstitious when I want to be..) but we know what I'm talking about, right? :)

Things with the paternal aren't great, I've developed more of an intolerence for bullshit lately, and I can't deal with his negativity putting a downer on my happiness. Harsh, maybe..selfish, definitely but that's just how it is at the moment.

What else? Well, work is the same as ever..too much work for too few people. But am I really going to complain about work, when I'm one of the lucky ones? I don't think so..

So, I think that's it for me. For the moment anyway.

Once...twice...three times..

So I've been tagged by the sexy Jelly Monster to do this '3 Things' Meme...so here goes!

Three Names You Go By

1. Claire
2.Daisy
3.Dizzle

Three Screen Names You Had

1. *Star-Girl*
2.Claire-Bear
3. Can't remember a third!

Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself

1. Hair
2. Eyes
3. Tattoos / Piercings

Three Physical Things you dont like about yourself

1. Arms
2. Flat ass
3. Everything else

Three Parts of your heritage

1.Bitta culchie
2.Bitta dub
3.Bit more culchie

Three things that scare you

1.BIRDS
2.Leprechauns
3.Deep water

Three of your everyday essentials

1. Phone
2. Eyeliner
3. Eh...air??

Three things you are wearing right now

1. T-shirt saying 'miss know it all'
2.Jeans
3. Pink bra

Three of your favourite bands or musical artists

1. Paramore
2. Evanescence
3. My Chemical Romance

Three of your favourite songs right now

1. Pixie Lott - Boys and Girls
2. Paramore - I caught myself
3. Black Eyed Peas - I gotta feeling *cringe*

Three things you want in a relationship

1. Love
2. Laughter
3. Trust

Three of your favourite hobbies

1. Reading
2. Going to comedy shows
3. Anything to do with music

Three things you want to do really badly right now

1. Shower!
2. Check my farm
3. Tidy my room

Three careers you're considering / have considered

1. Childcare (don't laugh!)
2. Air-hostess
3. Eh...come back to me

Three places you want to go on vacation

1. FORKS!
2. Egypt
3. South America

Three Names you like

1.Ava
2.Edward
3.Blaize

Three things you want to do before you die

1.Robert Pattinson
2.Fall in love
3.Visit the places up there

Three Ways that you are a stereotypical girl

1. Eh..well..the obvious..ahem
2. Ditzy
3. Love pink

Three fantasy dinner guests

1.Robert Pattinson (he IS the main course and dessert though..)
2.Audrey Hepburn
3. Cartman (just for the hilarity)

Three must haves

1.Phone
2.Books
3.Photos

Sorry, sorry..

I'm failing at blogging right now. I know this...I'll try to rectify this soon, but just no in a good mindframe right now. Apologies!

Belly Laughs #1 - International Comedy Club

When?: Friday 17th July 2009
Where? International Comedy Club
Who?:

Tiffany Stapleton started the night. She was an unknown name to me, so I really had no idea what to expect. Her act was a little bit messy, and not entirely pulled together, but funny nonetheless. Unlike many other female comedians, Stapleton was able to connect with the whole audience (as opposed to only the other females in the room)and her comedy was intelligent and well recieved. I don't know if I'd hurry back to see her headline, but I enjoyed her act.

Dave McSavage was the next act. I've seen him before, so obviously, there was repeated material, but I find the man extremely funny. Yes, he's sarcastic, he's rude, offensive, and comes out with some things that I don't agree with. He's undeniably un-PC, but, in my opinion, there's no room for PC in comedy. His song about 'culchies' getting on the property ladder had me in hysterics, and I wasn't the only one. Despite public opinions on this man, he still got the biggest laughs of the night.

Next up was F.J. Murray. The crowd loved him, but I have to be honest, I didn't find him that funny. His jokes were amusing, but nothing I haven't heard done before. He only did a very short slot, about 10 to 15 minutes, it's possible that he would have appealed to me a bit more had he had time to get further into his act.

The final act was Brendan Riley. This guy has a great energy, he bounced around the stage, and really connected with the audience. As he said himself, we'd paid the money, he'd better make us laugh. And laugh we did. Again, like Tiffany, I wouldn't run out to see him in a headline show, but the rest of the audience seemed to love him.

And of course, I can't post this and not mention the fantastic Dean Scurry. He hosted the gig, and even the jokes of his that I've heard before had me laughing. He has an almost boyish charm, that endears the audience to him immediately. Constantly bouncing around the stage, he is brilliant at getting the crowd going, and getting them ready for the next act. Possibly one of my favourite comedians!

Cos this is THRILLER!!

You so know this was the guy on the right's idea...look at those moves!

A year in the blink of an eye..

I completely missed my blog's 1st birthday...it was back on the 6th of this month..and tomorrow marks one year to the day that I started the job!

Quick review: Burned Alive - Souad

Lent to me by Evil Vampire Penguin, Burned Alive isn't the usual type of book that I read. I wouldn't have picked it up in a bookstore, it wouldn't have jumped out at me. That said, I will read anything, and since Sarah and myself generally like the same things, I gave it a look.

It's not a new book, you may have heard of it, or read it. But for those of you that haven't, Burned Alive tells the true story of a girl, who calls herself Souad. She was able to write it because of repressed memory therapy, and so the story can seem sketchy and vague at times.

Souad, at the age of seventeen, commits the worst crime imaginable to her strict Palestinian family. She falls in love with her neighbour, loses her virginity out of wedlock, and falls pregnant. Betrayed by her beloved, she tries to hide her pregnancy for as long as she can, but, inevitably, she is found out.
With her family deeply shamed, they decide that to get their honour back, Souad must be killed. What follows is absolutely horrific. She is doused in petrol, and set alight.
She is rescued by some women in her community, and left in hospital. She recieves no care from the medical staff, and is treated with scorn and distaste. However, luckily for Souad, an aid worker takes on her case, and, eventually, manages to get Souad and her young baby out of the country, and into a hospital in Switzerland. From there, she begins to get her life back on track.

I'm not going to go into more detail, in case anyone reading this post decides to try the book. I will just say that it ends on a happy note, with Souad getting the better life that so many of the women from The West Bank deserve, but don't recieve.

Sometimes hard to believe, sometimes sad, always shocking, this is a book I'm glad to have read. It has opened my eyes wide to the suffering of women still treated lower than second class citizens.

(No rating for this book, I feel it would be slightly crude to rate a story like this..)

What a load of aul..

*** Warning - contains strong language and badly expressed opinions***

Swearing.

It's not big.
It's not clever.
It's not appropriate.
But we're all guilty of it.

This post is prompted by a group discussion about the 'c' word (I'm aware that some people are sensitive about that particular word, so I won't type it in full...we all know what it is.) It started simply with the question 'Does it offend you'? and the responses were varied and quite interesting. Very few people said that they weren't offended by it, some said that they were, but weren't quite sure why, and the rest insisted that they were indeed offended by it.

Swear words are funny old things though, aren't they? Where did they come from? Like...who thought up the word 'fuck' and decided that it would be an offensive word, a vulgar term that would be used to insult someone? And for all the other swear words that you know, the same applies. Who gave these simple words that power?

Some argue that it's not the words themselves that can be offensive, but the intent. That 'fuck you!' said with malice behind it is far more offensive than the same words said in a jesting, or apathetic way.
Others say that the words themselves are the problem, and are just unncessary, not to be used.
I tend to agree with the former. Swear words, to me, are just like any other. The person saying them is the one who puts the meaning behind them. The words alone are nothing.

One thing noticeable about swearing is that it's a lot less taboo than it once was. In my opinion, anyway. It's frowned upon, certainly, but it is accepted, however uncomfortably, by today's society. It's not shocking to hear someone use 'fuck' or 'shit' or 'bollix' in their everyday conversations. Which, in one way, is a good thing. It lessens the offending power of the words. I do, however, shudder everytime I hear a child of any age telling someone to 'piss off' or 'get the fuck away from me, ye bastard!'. The downsides of a society open to swearing, I suppose..

Before I wrap up this already rambly post, I'd like to go back to the 'c' word. I want to know just why so many people find it offensive. Of those asked, they stated it's because it's a derogatory term for female genitals. Fair enough, this is true.

But...what about words like 'dick(head)', 'prick', 'bollix', 'knob'...all swear words, all insults. All derogatory terms for men's bits. And yet there's nowhere near as much stigma surrounding those words. Should men get all uppity and offended whenever one of those words are used now?

And then, there's arsehole...

(see Lette's Blog for her take on swearing)

..can you keep it?

Song of the week

Loving this - 'Mama Do' by Pixie Lott! Enjoy..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNHRUOF0j-8

(Edited to delete video - was stretching out the page)

Quick review: Handle With Care - Jodi Picoult

The name 'Jodi Picoult' always jumps out at me in bookstores. It genuinly excites me when she releases a new book. Although some of her books are, admittedly, a bit similar, and repetitive, every so often she'll bring out a novel that blows me away. 'My Sister's Keeper' was one. 'Nineteen Minutes' is another.

Her latest book, 'Handle With Care', in my opinion, follows the above in the list. And now I'm going to attempt to do a quick review of it.

Willow O'Keefe is the same as any other six year old girl. She loves her family, loves playing, and loves life. Unlike any other six year old girl however, she suffers from a severe case of Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bone disease). She risks breaking bones from doing as little as sneezing, or rolling over in bed.
Her parents, Charlotte and Sean are paying money hand over fist for everything she needs to help her in everyday tasks, and it's putting a strain on their marriage. Willow's sister Amelia feels invisible, and is compelled to do things that make her be seen.

Financial relief is offered in the form of a lawsuit. (This is what Picoult does best after all.) All Charlotte has to do is file a wrongful birth case against the doctor she was seeing during her pregnancy. The doctor, however, also happens to be her best friend. She has to lie to her daughter, and tell the world that, given the option at the time, she would have had an abortion.

Picoult really is at her best here, asking the difficult questions...could you make someone that you love believe that you wish they'd never been born, if it made their life better in the long run? How far exactly would you be willing to go just for the payout? Could you betray a best friend? Lie to your children? Risk losing your spouse?

Completely absorbing, with a completely unexpected twist to the tale, I would without a doubt encourage you to read this book...if you're a fan of Picoult's already, then you're sure to love it, and if you haven't read anything by her before, then it's a great way to start! 4 stars!

Random Picture Day #1

Myself and Evil Vampire Penguin roaming around town and Dundrum armed with the camera results in this...