Saturday, 7 March 2009

Mixed and muddled up..

Is it normal to miss someone that you have no desire to see on a daily, or even weekly basis?

Surely it's strange to love someone that you dislike immensely? (hate is too strong a word for this instance..)

It can't be right to want to cut someone completely out of your life, while the thought of doing it is impossibly hard to bear, surely?

It's fucked up to dread hearing from someone, but to long for just a text or a voicemail to let you know that they're ok and they know and care that you're still alive and well, right?

Isn't it ironic that the one thought you shove out of your mind and close the door on is the one thought that finds the only open window and climbs in at the most surprising moments?

(Isn't this just one of the most stupid blog posts you've ever read??)


whoopsadaisy said...

Well just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to like them very much. I think it's pretty natural where some family members are concerned that even though you love them, they can still drive you mad!
Hope you get the little contact you are hoping for xxx

Holemaster said...

A niggling curiosity for what might be often gets in the way of what is. You probably just need to move on. I'm assuming it's someone you love but can't live with.

sinfulorigamipaper said...

Not only totally normal but something I once lived with for a long time, DD.

It will change with time.

Anonymous said...

Well, that bought tears to my eyes. I live this everyday. I love him but can't be with him.

Daily Daydreamer said...

@Whoopsadaisy - I know you know exactly my situation, so that means a lot...thanks!

@Holemaster - Can't live with for more than one reason, can't live without because physical bonds are nearly impossibly to break..

@Origami - welcome to my blog, thanks for the comment..especially on such a weak post.

It will change with time, the feeling wont go away, hopefully I'll learn to deal with it though.

@Anon - thanks for commenting. Sorry this post upset you. I have a feeling my situation is very different to yours. It's strange how so many people can see their own lives in other peoples.. said...

It's so hard when this happens, you want to push them away with one hand, and pull them in with the other.

Hope it rights itself soon.

R said...

Beautiful post.

Daily Daydreamer said...

@RP - thanks..and you're right, it's hard. I'm afraid of the situation righting itself, and feel the same about it not..very conflicted!

@R - I'm surprised by the response actually, it was one of those things that you write in a rush of emotion, and then cringe at when you read it back...

Thanks for the comment :)

r said...

YOu have nothing to be cringing over. What a beautiful and honest post.
Without sounding all new age hippie or whatever, it is good for the soul to get those feelings out, to acknowledge them. In time when wounds have healed a little bit or things have shifted slightly you will be able to look back and have such a wonderfully honest account of how you felt.

Darragh said...

It can't be right to want to cut someone completely out of your life, while the thought of doing it is impossibly hard to bear, surely?

Yes, yes it can. Absolutely positively yes. In fact if I could get that on a t-shirt, I would.

Some people, no matter how well intentioned, how good they want to be or what they might once have been to you are poison to the soul. Delete, delete, delete.

(Isn't this just one of the most stupid blog posts you've ever read??)

No, no it is not.

Daily Daydreamer said...

@R (again) - That's very true I suppose, and there's nothing new-age or hippy-ish about it!

@Darragh - Poison is exactly the word. And thank you.

Little Miss said...

This post says it straight up for alot of people and i include myself in that.

And by the way this post was far from managed to drag me out of the woodwork...glad i found your blog :)

Daily Daydreamer said...

@Little Miss - glad you found it too!

Just an update: I've gotten what I thought I was looking for...and it turns out it's not. I'd rather not know.